Smith, Marx, and Driving in Israel

The main difference between the socio-economical theories of Adam Smith and those of Karl Marx is that Smith had postulated that wealth can be generated (and explained how), while Marx had assumed that wealth is constant, and anything gained by one party must have necessarily been lost by another.  This is the "zero sum game" philosophy of life, which seems to be prevalent throughout eastern Europe and the Middle East.  As one ex-Soviet friend of mine has put it, "in America when people see a rich man, they want to be as rich as him; in Russia, they want him to be as poor as them".

The end result is that people here seem to believe that they can get ahead either by working for their own cause, or else they can gain some game points on the big scoreboard in the sky by blocking others from achieving their own goals;  often the latter method even takes precedence over the former.

When applied to driving, this philosophy means that a car is not just a device for getting quickly and safely from point A to point B, but also for preventing others from doing the same.  Therefore, all driving maneuvers are designed to block as much of the road as possible, and generally obstruct the path of all other drivers.

The rules of driving seem to be:

1. Never Yield.  Only females yield, real men stand on their own at any cost.  (I refer here mainly to men although many women also follow these Rules; a woman who does is crowned as "drives like a man").

2. Do not slow down either, slowing down is a form of yielding.

3. All lane changes should be carried out starting at the lane furthest from the destination; e.g. when exiting a freeway on the right, make sure you're in the leftmost lane first.

4. Always drive on the left hand lane, which is supposedly the fastest, but of course isn't when everyone crowds in there; but Real Men would never drive in the right hand lane because that's admitting that their car is not the fastest one around (even if it is a 20 year old Subaru that cannot do more than 50 kph).

5. All traffic lights, road signs, one-way streets etc. are merely recommendations.  The only reason official rules are followed is because offenders are blocked by other drivers who follow rule 1.  People gladly enforce the law on others, even when they do not obey it themselves when they can get away with it.


6. Never signal, signaling is for sissies.  (Military rules dictate that troop movements should be carried out in a way that would disclose to the enemy as little information as possible about the intended destination.  On the road, all other drivers are of course our enemies).

7. Always block as much as the road as possible.  Despite rule 4, professional drivers do not mix with the crowd on the left hand lane, and of course they would never be caught dead in the right hand lane, so they drive in the middle, prepared to block any lane at any time.  (I once saw a taxi driver who managed to block off all three lanes of a highway while letting off passengers).

8. Always honk at anyone who tries to get in front of you, or even thinks of getting in front of you (even if you are way behind).

Drivers (and victims thereof) are welcome to add to the list.